More Monkey News! (sort of)

OK, so maybe this entry should really be called 'Laotian Rock Rat News', but this thing looks pretty much like a monkey, right?



And it looks a LOT like the Sumatran rat monkey that carried the zombie-causing virus in Peter Jackson's Dead Alive, which I've just found out is also known as Braindead.

See?


OK - maybe not an exact match, but still, it gave me an excuse to run this picture.

It's also the first movie I've ever seen that featured zombies doing it and a subsequent zombie baby, which runs around like a chucky doll after escaping from its barbed wire covered baby stroller (or pram since the movie takes place in New Zealand).

Please don't consider any of this a recommendation to see this movie.

Real Madrid v. DC United

Here are a couple photos I took of the Real Madrid - DC United game Irene and I went to a couple weeks back. Madrid scored first but DC tied it up less than 5 minutes later, and the 2 sides played to a 1-1 draw. Very lame of me to take almost 3 weeks to post these, I know, but, well, you know....

The man who would win any election in England.
Lucky for Prince Charles he can't be voted out.

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLL!!!!!!!!

Check out the huge crowd (66,000+) and they only announced the game 2 weeks before it was played.

What? There's a dress code!

If you're ever looking for a laugh or two, check out this blog, Go Fug Yourself. I love love love this site. It's way better than what you'll find in USWeekly, InTouch, People, National Enquirer, or Star. This picture of Britney Spears is a classic! Where does one start?

this headline made me laugh

Booty finally gets the call for Trojans

yeah it's real--about USC's new starting QB John David Booty, which is a funny name anyway. (Here's some Booty family trivia: John David's brother Josh was once drafted by our hometown Seattle Seahawks, and is married to one of Barker's Beauties.)

Here's my alternate suggestion for a headline--too obvious?

Trojans finally make Booty call

Here's another headline that got me to click-through:

Women players to get approved supplements

Turns out the article's about women tennis players now being allowed to take certain kinds of vitamins and nutritional supplements. As Homer Simpson would say: BORING!

Psycho Killer Raccoons

There is a pack of "crazy" raccoons in Olympia, WA that have killed 10 cats, attacked a small dog, and bitten a human being. WOW! Owners say they can hear when the raccoons attack, kill, and tear apart their cats. OH MY GOD! The neighbors are warned not to feed the raccoons. I personally don't like raccoons; they're simply large furry rats with fingers.

Who needs to watch Snakes On A Plane when you have "Raccoons on the Hunt."

what's worse?

I'm not going to talk much about this, but what part of this story has the most unfortunate wording: headline, sub-head, or the actual tale of woe it relates? (From today's Boston Globe).

Listen to me now & believe me later: I will comment no further regarding the events that occurred in Fenway Park over the past four days. So don't ask me!

Jeter's fister KO'd Papelbon
Yankee's blooper landed just right

By Amalie Benjamin, Globe Staff | August 21, 2006

It was the perfect moment, the perfect matchup. The rookie against the captain. The game on the line. Everything down to a single moment in the ninth.

With Melky Cabrera on third base after a double and wild pitch, Jonathan Papelbon had struck out Bernie Williams and Johnny Damon. And so, with two outs and a one-run lead, Derek Jeter stepped to the plate, hoping to continue the Yankee dominance in the most crushing way possible.

It wasn't a hard hit, not a home run or a smash. But it was just enough to tie the game, a soft liner that dropped a few feet in front of charging right fielder Gabe Kapler and brought in Cabrera with the Yankees' fifth run, setting the scene for Jason Giambi's game-winning smash one inning later in the 8-5 loss to New York last ni...blahblahblah...jeter sucks...giambi's on roids...arod sucks worse... blahblah blah... posada's a shithead ... blahblah

Jolie's Superbaby Revolution

My friend Aaron has come up with a theory about Angelina Jolie and her three babies of different races, including her latest with Brad Pitt.

He says she's from another planet, sent here to assemble a platoon of superbabies of different races, all coincidentally, and conveniently, unrelated by birth:

Maddox, born 2002, Cambodia
Zahara, born 2005, Ethiopia
Shiloh, born 2006, her first biological child, born in Namibia

The theory goes on to state that when the earth is no longer inhabitable (presumably in the somewhat near future, as these plans have been put into action already) the human race will need to be relocated to another planet. Not everyone will be lucky enough to make that trip, but Angelina and her superbabies will already be there, having been sent on ahead to populate our new world. Presumably, the money earned from Jolie's highly successful film and modeling career is being used to help pay for the spaceship/ark.

Personally this theory makes a little too much sense to me. To check it out I googled "Jolie Superbabies" and what did I find? Only that Angelina's 'earth dad' Jon Voight happened to star in a movie called "SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2" in 2004. More proof: have you ever looked closely at her 'brother'? He's weird--probably an alien too.

Planning their escape? You can bet there'll be room on the escape ships for Condi & Hillary too

Are all of these mere coincidences? I think not.

Do you think I'm kidding about all of this? I don't know--am I?

And Fred's Your Uncle

Here's a cute photo of the Martel boys. Before moving in with us, Fred lived with John and Julie in Oregon. These boys are their kids. They now live in Northern California.

Vogue's Pick of Top Dog

Vogue named the dandie dinmont terrier top dog of the summer. They're the rage in Europe, and they're quickly gaining popularity in the States. The fashionistas quip it's harder to get a dandie dinmont terrier than a Hermes Birkin bag (I'm assuming everyone has seen the episode of Sex in the City when the girls coveted the Birkin bag). I hate it when dogs become accessories. But how can you resist that adorable face?

Of course, this dog doesn't hold a candle to our favorite little dog, Bonzo.

Distressing thoughts of the day

from this NY Times Magazine Article:

Of the trillions and trillions of cells in a typical human body — at least 10 times as many cells in a single individual as there are stars in the Milky Way — only about 1 in 10 is human. The other 90 percent are microbial. These microbes — a term that encompasses all forms of microscopic organisms, including bacteria, fungi, protozoa and a form of life called archaea — exist everywhere. They are found in the ears, nose, mouth, vagina, anus, as well as every inch of skin, especially the armpits, the groin and between the toes. The vast majority are in the gut, which harbors 10 trillion to 100 trillion of them. “Microbes colonize our body surfaces from the moment of our birth,” Gordon said. “They are with us throughout our lives, and at the moment of our death they consume us.”

I don't know what's worse - that 90% microbial number or the closing quote. Thank you Dr. Gordon!

Don't Try This at Home

As all our readers are fans of Fred Martel, you all know how much this cat has cost Jim and me in blood, sweat and tears (but we still love him to death). He hasn't been himself since late last week, looking sad and lacking an appetite. The loss of appetite really had us worry since Fred usually scarfs his food within minutes of it hitting his bowl. You can keep time since he always give you a 15 minute warning before each of his daily feedings at 7:30am, 5pm and 11pm.

We tried new food (salmon and sweet pea, and turkducken) but to no avail. Rather than pay through the nose for an emergency vet visit, Jim dropped him off at vet this morning. Diagnosis: Fred's constipated. The little guy got an enema, and it did the trick. The vet said Fred's happily eating duck and peas to replenish his strength from the trauma.

I can't imagine how the treatment went but Jim found this website, http://www.catenema.com/cat1.html, that's hilarious. Poor poor Fred. Jim and I never considered doing this ourselves.

Three Decisions That'll Change Your Life

This past Sunday Jim and I were stuck in traffic at the border after spending Saturday night in Vancouver, BC. Props to Morty and Kate for planning a vacation in the Pacific Northwest! We had an awesome dinner at Cin Cin, an Italian restaurant that wouldn't be out of place if it was in Las Vegas. Back to my b*tching -- to past the time, Jim and I played this game where you name 3 people and the other person has to decide which of the three to marry, f*ck or kill. The best one I came up for Jim was Owen Wilson, Luke Wilson and Rainn Wilson (that's Dwight Schrute for those who watch The Office). Jim countered with Manny, Big Papi and Nomar. You'll have to take a guess which ones we chose.

You're On Notice

Here's the link to make your own notice board.

They're on the pitch

It's been a long week where I haven't been going to bed before midnight. To quote Sergeant Roger Murtaugh, "I'm too old for this sh**." Last night Jim and I went to the soccer match with Real Madrid v. DC United. It was a friendly game, and the score was 1-1 draw. Both teams had scored early in the first half, and they went into defensive mode for the rest of the game. Not too exciting but it was definitely fun. There were over 66,000 fans at the game; arguably the most diverse crowd I've ever seen at a professional sports event in Seattle. Phew -- there are poc's (people of color for those who didn't know) in Seattle.

I had a hard time finding pictures of the Real Madrid team. I guess they keep a tight leash on these things. I did find a photo of some of the players in Seattle walking along First Avenue. Do you think they just came out of the gun exchange or at the adult video store?

Irene's Reading List for July

Bait and Switch, The (Futile) Pursuit of the American Dream by Barbara Ehrenreich
Thank You For Smoking by Christopher Buckley
4th of July by James Patterson and Maxine Paetro

Carcassonne, France

This is today's Wikipedia* photo of the day - I just like the look of it:
(click on it to view it larger--it's worth it, trust me)

"Panorama of the fortified city of Carcassonne (Aude, France) and the Pont Vieux crossing the Aude River. The fortress of Carcassonne was considered impregnable and never conquered. It was begun by the Romans and built up through the years. It fell into disrepair, but was restored in the 19th century. It is now a UNESCO World Heritage Site."

*Bonus fact of the day: I love Wikipedia

Ranger Reed

here's my nephew Reed in his Park Ranger uniform he got on a family trip to Yellowstone:



Is that cute or what?

Monkey News: Da Return

I haven't found a good monkey news story for some time, until today that is. Here's a good one from msnbc that includes this classic quote: "There are too many monkeys" :

India Train Company Turns to Monkey Business

Fierce-looking primate employed to keep wayward monkeys off subways
MSNBC News Services

Updated: 7:02 a.m. PT Aug 2, 2006

NEW DELHI, India - They say it takes a thief to catch a thief, but India’s Delhi Metro has hired a monkey to frighten off other monkeys from boarding trains and upsetting passengers.

In an effort to keep monkeys out of the New Delhi subways, authorities have called in one of the few animals known to scare the creatures — a fierce-looking primate called the langur, the Hindustan Times newspaper reported Wednesday.

The decision to hire a langurwallah — a man who trains and controls the langurs — came after a monkey got into a metro car June 9, the newspaper reported.

In that incident, a monkey boarded a train at the underground Chawri Bazaar station and reportedly scared passengers by scowling at them for three stops. It then disembarked at Civil Lines station.

Passengers had to be moved to another car while staff chased the dexterous creature, causing delays.

The Delhi Metro Rail Corporation says it hopes the new hire will avert a repeat of that episode.

“It started working about a month ago and since then we’ve not had a single incident,” said Anuj Dayal, a metro spokesman.

The langur handler is being paid a retainer of India rupees 6,900 ($160) a month, and “he will be called whenever there is a monkey problem,” Dayal was quoted as saying.

“There are too many monkeys,” Dayal was quoted as saying.

Langur monkeys are similarly employed around the grounds of parliament and some government buildings in New Delhi.
© 2006 MSNBC Interactive

URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14121007/

PS: I borrowed "Da Return" in today's title from this classic album which you too can own for $.01

stuff I've been meaning to blog plus Prague potato chip scam

my stream of consciousness, larry king-style:

Mom & Reg are here this weekend. They arrived last night and will be here til tuesday 8/8. Going to Ms-TB Monday night with them and Geegy & Mike. Was mom's 65th bday on Monday 7/31 but I promised not to tease her about being an official senior citizen, so I won't. Fred the cat, this blog's namesake, became a teenager that same day, so happy birthday to mom & fred. Happy 13th anniversary to ML & Julie too. Irene & I are heading up to Vancouver tomorrow to see Morty & Kate. Mom & Reg decided to hang in Seattle rather than sit in the car another 6-7 hours, since they'll be driving off to CA Tuesday and did the FL-NH drive in the past couple weeks.

That's it for now except for this important warning from a frommers email newsletter I received today:

Potato Chip Scams

"Other than the taxi drivers, only one other thing upset me about Praha; When you sit down at a restaurant, you'll find potato chips in a basket. You'd think those stale potato chips -- and the unrequested bread they later bring to the table -- are on the house. But no! Whether you eat the chips and bread or not, they still charge you. It's just a few dollars, but you still feel like you've been taken. TIP: Ask the server to remove the potato chips before you sit down, and say "no thank you" to the bread."

I think my favorite part is how the author linked potato chips to the photo he took, you know, as a public service, just in case anyone was puzzled about how to avoid this scam because of unfamiliarity with what Czech bowls of chips might look like.